Change, the way you love

We're supposed to change. Over time we're supposed to be different. It's a part of knowing you're alive.

I don't want to be who I was 5 years ago and I don't want to be who I am now in 5 years.

I expect myself and others to change. It's a challenge to my compassion and patience to come with an open heart to people I have known and love them as if we have never met, as if I've never been hurt by them and as if they want to be better. I want the way I treat them to reflect my own character and not what I think they "deserve" based on their character.

Sometimes change just seems to happen and other times it comes only through pain or persistence. Today I choose to change the way I love, the reason I love, and to remove all barriers and boundaries that have restricted the love I will give at no cost.

Astronaut

Sometimes I write but now I also do pictures.

DO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

Beauty is more than just visual aesthetics! There can also be beautiful words, sounds and feelings but today I am here to talk to you about beautiful actions.

Today I woke up, rummaged through my clothes, and jumped in the shower. In there I was surrounded by warmth, fresh scents and the idea that I was completely alone. It was just me, every inch, every pound, and every imperfection. When I hopped out I cleared my foggy mirror, looked at my flushed face and started thinking about the day ahead.

I thought about the people I would encounter, the food I would get to eat, and the changes I would get to live out and advocate for. When I looked into my eyes I saw beauty beyond the physical bounds of my being. I felt beautiful because I get to do beautiful things.

I get to impact millions of lives with the choices I make and not just because I work at Microsoft. It's because I am passionate about participating in other people lives and making my voice (and the voices of others) heard.

The world is not going to change itself. Go out there, in your everyday life, and say something, make something, do something beautiful.

Passion is Not Enough

Passion. This word is thrown around, fabled as the key to success, and never explained. My mantra, 'Find your passion, live your dream' is not just an empty slogan. It is a guiding principle to my goal of changing the world one life at at time.

The idea of passion as a requirement for success is not what I disagree with. I am bothered by the lack of understanding of the depth of the term 'passion' and the lack of personal ownership in a persons own definition of success. 

Passion encompasses many things, most notably:

• Discipline - to do or not to do
• Desire - to want to do
• Motivation - a reason to do 
• Focus - to keep doing
• and Skill - to do well

This is why it a such misleading term.

Passion is an invisible fuel you can't buy, borrow, or steal. I think passion is raw and natural but like any growing thing it can be cultivated to produce a better yield. Passion, like energy, can be stifled but not destroyed. It can be restrained or hindered but not depleted. Passion, like love, is eternal but can hibernate. It can retreat in times of comfort or stress. It can dwindle malnourished or overwhelm when enticed. If you have captured your passion treat it as a beloved guest in your life and not as an enslaved work man. 

I challenge you to question the value of your life and your definition of success. I dare you to become the person you were meant to be by finding your passion and defining your dreams. Take the courage to decide what your life is about and not just what you will do any given day. Live intentionally and aim to not waste any of the moments you have been blessed with. 

I won't challenge you to do something that I haven't already done myself. I seek to know God and for Him and his love to be known to all. I desire to love without limits just as I have been. This is the purpose of my life. Luckily, this life is full of an infinite number of ways for me to live this everyday. This includes my work at Microsoft and my adventures with EDEN BodyWorks.

So, what are you doing and what are you going to do next? I can't wait to hear about it in the comments below!

I am & I am not

I am not ambitious 

I am not concerned with financial gain

I am focused

I am a person who knows what kind of life they want to live

I am not a prize to be won

I am not an achievement be sought after 

I am an experience 

I am an opportunity to grow in patience and in character 

I am not done learning 

I am not going to be the same person in 5 years

I am tender hearted 

I am too hard on myself 

I am not a fan of crowds 

I am not afraid of failing 

I am good at public speaking 

I am an introvert 

I am not perfect 

I am not always the best version of myself 

I am a Christian 

I am trying to be better

Life Thus far

A life well lived full of time well wasted

The fruits of my labor, how sweet they have tasted

The challenge, the mission, the struggle, the strife

The success, the progress, the triumph, the life

Look, look, look for the good

Smile in the moments you don't think you should

Speak warm like sunshine, as rhythmic as rain

Fall, get back up, get back up once again

Give, give, give from your heart

Be a wise leader or just play your part

Elevate others as mentor or friend

Fall, get back up, get back up once again

A life brand new, a future untainted 

Equipped with a brush and prepared to go paint it

The mystery, the wonder, the unknown, the length

The planning, the passion, the focus, the strength 

Don't Say I Never Told You: Time Management

One day I realized that if I didn't start making a plan for the day that I was going to waste it. First the day, then the month and eventually my life.

As a child I had seen a life well lived change many others. This is the life I wanted for me. 

But my mind is too wild. It just jumps from task to task as I remember what needs to be done, what must be done, and what is to be avoided. 

It may seem weird carve out time for spontaneity, for freedom of choice or for rest but when your brain moves at a million miles a minute you have to set boundaries in order to be functional.

I have moved from a series of alarms with sounds associated with different behaviors (wake up, eat, work, play, sleep) to a check list of things where I have options to choose what I want to do that day. 

It's not about finishing the whole list it's about committing to progress without feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of things it takes to survive as a human and also to have the life I want.

I can't do it all and I try really hard not to punish myself for that. In moments of weakness I go dark and spiral into a period of neglect. No more chores, no food, no email, just walks and naps and water.

 It's far from the healthiest thing but I can proudly say that this habit is dying. I have allowed myself to be loved, to be cared for and to be supported. I am reminded that my strength is not my own and that all I have to do is choose one thing and start.

At 25 I still wonder who I'm supposed to be. I feel responsible and accountable to people I don't know but can influence. I feel a heavy weight and the fire of passion for work meant for something.

I can't control most things. I've almost completely abandoned control in favor of wisdom. I don't need to micromanage every minute of my day. I just need to have clear desires, priorities and motivation so I can make a wise choice when the time comes to choose how I will spend my time. 

In the words of the Flaming Lips, "all we have is now, all we'll ever have is now". 

Why I Don't Like Video Games

This is a harder post to write. Not because it's hard to find reasons but because change is something that can take a long time. I find myself struggling not to get complacent but also struggling to be patient as I wait actively and nudge the change along.

Video games are art, science, music, engineering, and sport all in one. For all the diversity that exists in the components of the industry it has been historically heterogenous in personnel and in product. While there is a rapidly growing sphere of diversity, acceptance, and independence in the game industry, you can still feel the old regime gripping with white knuckles the industry that is "being taken away from them."

From a development perspective there is a trend of overworking and undervaluing staff. These game makers push through this inappropriate treatment and mask their pain with the passion they have for games. Work-life balance is a mythical beast from a far off land. Crunch time is something that should be rare but seems as predictable as the holiday season itself. 

From a consumer perspective the fanaticism that causes segmentation and the pervasive elitism that comes with different game genres and platform preferences is unwelcoming. The lies that exclude and impede people from partaking in the pleasure of this medium are daunting: 

You have to play on the latest generation console to be a real gamer. You have to have an incredibly expensive gaming PC with a slew of peripherals to be a real gamer. You have to play shooters with competitive multiplayer to be a real gamer. You have to play a sports game and always have the latest annual version to be a real gamer. You have to be a male to be a real gamer.

The mental weight of being different in this industry is taxing but there are people and organizations fighting to change what is normal. Fighting is exhausting but the victory is worth it.

Why I Like Video Games

Humans love stories. They teleport us to different worlds and show us life from a perspective we may never truly understand. They instill us with wisdom and hope and they teach us lessons about others and ourselves. Some people are readers, some people are movie buffs but me, I'm a gamer.

With a book, I only dreamt and imagined. Turning page after page racing to the end. In movies my hands gripped the theatre armrests while my eyes and ears were flooded with a sensory overload that was tainted by the imagination of another. But with a game, instead of imagining or just seeing Laura Croft tip toe down a hallway shaking with fear or waiting and hearing the shaking of commander Shepard's voice making a difficult decision I got to be them. I got to order their steps, pave their paths and experience their stories first hand. 

In Halo, I got practice not just knowing about and seeing heroes but becoming one by making tough choices, fighting the good fight and helping others along the way.

In Life is Strange, I got to think critically and cry, as I lost someone I'd grown fond of without letting revenge consume me. 

In Beyond Eyes, I got to be young again and immerse myself in the footsteps of a child very different from me while helping her mother grieve. 

In Rayman Legends, I got to push my self farther and faster to the music of teamwork and coordination

In Goat Simulator, I also got to be a crazy goat in the big city.

The potential for games, game developers and gamers themselves to change lives is often underestimated. I'm excited that I get to be a part of changing the face of gaming and to experience it so deeply.

Find me on Xbox Live with gamertag: Iam Full of WIN

EDEN BodyWorks Turns 12

14 years ago I lost my hair and I thought I lost everything.

13 years ago I developed an oil to help heal my scalp and regrow my hair.

12 years ago I learned that I could help others, share my story and change the world by starting a company.

After more than a decade of traveling the world, meeting men and women of all ages, colors and textures, developing dozens of products and supporting initiatives and people that align with our values, I couldn't be more proud of the impact #TeamEDEN has had to date.

Happy 12th birthday to @edenbodyworks ❤️💁🏽❤️here's to a beautiful future!

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#12yearsaCEO #entrepreneurship #womeninbusiness #TBT #birthday#DiscoverEDEN