My Friends

Most of my friends are my friends because of the life that we’ve experienced together. These random moments where life brought us together bonded us. From choir practice in elementary school to group projects in CS classes, these opportunities to do life together have drawn us close and opened the door to a lifetime of relationship. The depth and the longevity may vary but the connectedness remains. Even when I forget a name in my heart there are memories of the moment we first knew each other. There seems to always have been a part of me that yearned to be a part of someone else’s story and to open a chapter in mine for them. 

As I scroll through my phone contacts and Facebook friends I reimagine our moments or the ones that followed. The themes are laughter, curiosity, ambition, teamwork, food and rest. There are those in whom I instantly recognized a spark that ignited fire in my own personality and others whose quiet composure drew me in to explore the contrast of such a complimentary presence. 

I see myself as light and dark. As R&B and punk rock. As an introverted extrovert who loves the science of art and the art of science. I am as multifaceted as the people who have poured into me, came along side me and even walked away. I’m grateful for the eternal chaos of the universe that saw fit to move our atoms near enough that we could communicate and co-exist in this time to create love, tension and progress.

And that’s what I think of my friends. 

My Life is Not My Own

My life is in my hands.

 

Sometimes I hold it too tightly. Sometimes I take myself too seriously.

 

I know it's weird but I see value in me. I want to be prepared to live a life that is honorable and useful to others. I have this entirely selfish desire to be selfless which is why I can't allow myself to over indulge in earthly pleasures.


They are good, they are real but they are temporary. The eternal joy found when you change a life echoes through time forever. I want to be the catalyst for generations of change, love, and progress.


So for me it is worth boundaries, patience and a guarded heart until the right person comes along to help lead me and soften my heart to myself. And if they don't I'll be okay because I understand the greater purpose of my life. 


I am honored to have the responsibility of being who I am. It's not always fun, I don't always want it but ultimately it's who I am and I've embraced that. I have been blessed beyond measure and I strive only to reflect and reciprocate the love I've received through a curated life of service.

 

My life is not my own.

Here and Gone

I washed my face.

I brushed my teeth.

I’m tired and I need some sleep.


But in my mind

And soon my dreams

Are visions of what could have been.


I play it back,

The moment when

I should’ve said, “Let’s meet, again.”


But in its stead

The silence grew

No chance for “us”.

Just me. And you.


You’ve excited me and inspired me to poetry.

Could be meant to be, just call it destiny or wait and see.

I’m tired of complacency; I yearning for what waits for me.

I’ve looked inside the book and said the words now it’s finally.


Here.

And gone.