Origin story

This story starts when I was 8

I saw a movie, it was great

A robot searching for humanity

A lonely robot, that was me

A short life seeking near perfection

Thrown by this little interjection

Determined to determine my own fate

I decided for the first time when I was 8

No one will tell me what I will be 

Discover my humanity through technology 

200 years, whatever it takes

Humanoid robots I will make

I came across a small distractions 

I’m bald at 11 from a chemical reaction 

A scientist in deed and in heart

I took my science, I made my art

In time I later Discovered Eden 

I kept it up for practical reasons

A small distraction to a new career

But there are no robots here

20 years later with mom’s death in sight

I summoned my courage and all my might

To do what I did as a child

Quit my rules of perfection, into the wild

I decided for the first time when I was 8 

I saw a movie, it was great 

Discover humanity through technology

I decide everyday who I will be

The Good Fight

I can feel the anxiety crawling out from the unsurrendered parts of my heart. It wraps its arms around my throat so my breath is short and scarce. My heart is pounding. My stomach is in knots and "what ifs" are fluttering like wasps inside my brain.

I close my eyes and beg for peace and silence. Clicking, scrolling and searching for an outlet for the massive weight crushing my chest and draining my optimism.

All I can think of is things to stop, things I'm going to lose and hard decisions bound to be ripe with bitterness and regret.

I ask Lord make me strong. Lord show me the way. I tighten my grip on my life and my situation.

I pray God change these people. Jesus make me like you. Only he can change me to be who I need to be to make it through. I'm not enough.

I shout Lord have your way and pour out every ounce of faith I can muster. It all goes black. Silence envelopes me.

I am alone floating in space with God. Whispering his age old promises. Suddenly I remember who He is but I still struggle daily to live as though His words are true. 

What will it take?

Work haikus

Take a deep breath, write a haiku, carry on. These are from a particularly tough week. Why no good day haikus? Because on the good days my energy is poured into the work I do and the people I work with. These haikus were meant to encapsulate a moment, affirm that it existed and as a reminder of how small the moment was in the light of eternity.

Even days when you are following your passion, or living your dream, can be hard. I was taught not to give up when things are hard. I was taught that the way I carried myself through hard times was a truer reflection of my character than many other times. To share joy that cannot be stolen by events of this world I take a moment, release the stress, and recognize the strength that fills me is not my own.

Cool, fresh, morning air

Inbox full of unread mail

Time to get it done

Talk but don't listen

Where are all the markers at?

How not to meeting

What is your status?

What is the priority? 

So this is agile

Coffee, more coffee

I don't need to eat today

I am burning out

Don't build it like that

New designs are due today

Now the feature's cut

It is 5PM

There's too much work to leave now

This has to ship soon

Dinner on the go

Red bang mails are coming in

On my way in now

Work in industry 

Get all the monies and perks

Can you tough it out?